Be Yourself?

"Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect." Matthew 5:48

Over the pulpit the last 2 weeks the First Presidency message was read which stated that programs which promise that you will "find yourself" by focusing on yourself and confronting others are counter to the gospel.  It was read the first week as scheduled, and then had to be repeated the second week because so many in the congregation had been confused by the message.  I get it.  They don't understand how "finding yourself" through contentious communication and self-focused programming can be so evil.

Here are my thoughts.  I was tickled by the message, having figured out that (almost) everything I learned about therapy, coaching, and personal progress in my psychology and sociology classes were wrong, and based on Freudianism.  They are wrong because they teach a philosophy opposite to the philosophy in the scriptures.  We learn from the Bible that it is only through losing ourselves in service that we will find ourselves.  Why is that?  Because you can't respect yourself unless you earn that respect through being a good person, and if you can't respect yourself you cannot like or truly love yourself.  The world gets it backwards.  We're told that we have to love ourselves to be able to love others.  But it doesn't work that way in reality.  While it's true that we have to respect ourselves to be able to have healthy relationships, healthy relationships and love are two different things.  We have to love others to love and respect ourselves, and then after we've got that worked out we're ready to have healthy relationships.  That's taught in the scriptures, not in self-help programs.

I've said it before, and I will say it again: Self-esteem is Satan's counterfeit for self-respect.  Self-esteem alone actually tends to destroy the self because we're taught that we should esteem ourselves regardless of our actions.  Self-esteem which you can have, no matter your actions, is a cancer.  It is pride.

Self-help programs and books, which usually push self-esteem, will always fail upon application because self-focusing is self-centered, and self-centeredness is harmful.  Self-centered programming teaches us to focus on who we are, teaching us to be content with ourselves whether or not we're being good people. They also teach us how to manipulate others through communication exercises.  Good communication skills are essential, but manipulation will never lead to healthy relationships or increased love.  Service is the key.  Focusing outside of the self is the key.  Learning that wickedness is not happiness is the key.  You'll never be happy in your own skin until you're righteous.  And communicating evil feelings (rather than taking responsibility for your feelings) doesn't help relationships.  Contentious therapy is not helpful therapy.  God said contention is "not of [Him]."

How often do we hear, "Be yourself" or "You are perfect as you are?"  And how do those statements contrast to the commandment to "Be ye therefore perfect?"  They are opposites.  One says there is no need for personal progression and the other says that it is a commandment from God to be making constant progress toward perfection.  We need to be our best and better selves.  And none of us are perfect as we are, though we can be pretty great, and appropriate praise is good.  But praising to the point of lying and telling someone they don't need any improvement is mean.  There is always room for improvement and that's worth acknowledging and working through. Our culture embraces as wisdom the mantra "Be yourself" and the entire gay agenda is based on the belief that if you are gay you are perfect just as you are.  There is no call for personal betterment but rather only enabling and flattery.  The scriptures already tell us that Satan works through flattery and teaching the people that they don't need to become better.  The answers are all there in divine writ.  We just need to notice that this is another one of Satan's clever counterfeits that we are consistently falling for- taking his lies for wisdom.

No wonder Americans are so depressed.   We're told that we can skip the whole being good thing and still be happy.  Talk about being sold a bill of goods!